BOTH SIDES NOW.........NOT EXACTLY
Last week I wrote about loss and trying to cope with it and come to terms with change. Some how the words of Joni Mitchell's song still wander through my heart. You know the one that goes "I've looked at life from both sides now from win and lose and still somehow, it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all." Sometimes I think that is true of us all. I had the pleasure to attend a reception on Saturday night for a great new facility here in our small town. After months of fundraising and renovation the second floor of the Kirby opened Saturday night. What a beautiful space it is......Artist studios, music rooms, performance areas, and all with a view to Main Street. This is definitely a reality and not an illusion. It is the product of hard work and dreams of people who know that the arts can breathe new life into a town and its people. The space is there, now it is just waiting to be used.
I had very mixed feelings about attending this reception, but as a member of the Arts Council I felt a responsibility to be there. So for once I put personal feelings of loss aside and went. Now I am struggling to do the same thing in a personal relationship. After leaving a place you have loved and served for a long time there is a feeling of a sense of loss. There is a feeling of wanting to separate yourself from that place and never look back. Somehow you feel if you do the hurt will stop. But sometimes you have to realize what was the illusion and what was the reality. You have to be able to separate the two. Perhaps knowing I was being given the opportunity to continue doing what I love in a new place and with a new set of circumstances made it easier. I don't know, but I was able to see both sides. And realize that somethings change, but the things you hold your heart don't. I hope I realize the same in the matter of the personal relationship. I simply feel like I have completely fallen of the radar of someone who I thought knew me a little better than anyone else. I greatly miss the person and person I am when we communicate. I have tried looking at both sides of this, and trying to be still and wait, trying to know that there are things I will always keep in my heart, but I am not doing a very good job of it, at all.
Last week I wrote about loss and trying to cope with it and come to terms with change. Some how the words of Joni Mitchell's song still wander through my heart. You know the one that goes "I've looked at life from both sides now from win and lose and still somehow, it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all." Sometimes I think that is true of us all. I had the pleasure to attend a reception on Saturday night for a great new facility here in our small town. After months of fundraising and renovation the second floor of the Kirby opened Saturday night. What a beautiful space it is......Artist studios, music rooms, performance areas, and all with a view to Main Street. This is definitely a reality and not an illusion. It is the product of hard work and dreams of people who know that the arts can breathe new life into a town and its people. The space is there, now it is just waiting to be used.
I had very mixed feelings about attending this reception, but as a member of the Arts Council I felt a responsibility to be there. So for once I put personal feelings of loss aside and went. Now I am struggling to do the same thing in a personal relationship. After leaving a place you have loved and served for a long time there is a feeling of a sense of loss. There is a feeling of wanting to separate yourself from that place and never look back. Somehow you feel if you do the hurt will stop. But sometimes you have to realize what was the illusion and what was the reality. You have to be able to separate the two. Perhaps knowing I was being given the opportunity to continue doing what I love in a new place and with a new set of circumstances made it easier. I don't know, but I was able to see both sides. And realize that somethings change, but the things you hold your heart don't. I hope I realize the same in the matter of the personal relationship. I simply feel like I have completely fallen of the radar of someone who I thought knew me a little better than anyone else. I greatly miss the person and person I am when we communicate. I have tried looking at both sides of this, and trying to be still and wait, trying to know that there are things I will always keep in my heart, but I am not doing a very good job of it, at all.